How to Photograph a Puppy



Posted by lya on Sat, 12/01/2007 - 01:50

Remove film from box and load camera.

Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from

muzzle.

Choose a suitable background for photo.

Mount camera on tripod and focus.

Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other

hand.

Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on

puppy's nose.

Put magazines back on coffee table.

Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over

your head.

Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and

say, "No, outside! No, outside!".

Call spouse to clean up mess.

Fix a drink.

Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach

puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

 

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